The Boston Pity Party – Being both happy AND sad at the same time.

It’s so not normal for me to write not one but TWO posts at about the same time, but I have some stuff to get off my chest.

Image result for feelings gif

For several years now, Boston weekend has been a time of ambivalence for me. Runners from all over the world give so much of themselves by training and working to earn that coveted “BQ” and punch their tickets to run the Boston Marathon. I see the pride and the excitement when they accomplish that goal and I am genuinely happy for them all. Since marathons are run all over the world and all year long, social media will almost constantly have a runner or two posting the momentous occasion when they officially beat the qualifying time. It’s something to celebrate! Boston weekend is when they collect their prize.

I myself have tried several times, unsuccessfully. Truth is, I kind of hate marathons. They are a cruel beast. A runner can train hard, do everything right and be ready to beat their goal, yet still it just might not be their day. Maybe they didn’t sleep right. Maybe they needed to go the bathroom one last time. Maybe they should have had one more piece of peanut butter toast (or one less). Over the course of 26.2 miles, a LOT can go wrong. A BQ time requires some aggressive running (and doesn’t leave much fluff time) for many of us. There just isn’t time for ANYTHING to go wrong.

As much as I love seeing the smiles of my running friends and reading the posts from those sharing their stories, a little part of me gets feelings of sadness and maybe a dash of bitterness. I wish it wasn’t the truth, but it is. I will never stop being happy for my fellow runners, that’s for sure. I might need a break from seeing or hearing it all every once in a while. I know their struggle to get there, but I don’t know their joy of getting there. I want to know it. I need to know it.

For every runner that’s been able to live out their dream of Boston, there are probably a few that haven’t been there yet. Some of them probably want it pretty badly. This one goes out to those runners. We’ll get there…someday.





9 Replies to “The Boston Pity Party – Being both happy AND sad at the same time.”

  1. All of us runners have that one (or more) big dream. When we have trouble making it happen, it sucks. It REALLY sucks when some people make it look so ‘easy’ to obtain. Everyone has their struggles and those struggles won’t be the same. You have come so far since your injury, but you also have the right to be little bitter and have that FOMO feeling. I think all these feelings are just kindling for the fire! Use them to accomplish your goal, but also go at your own pace towards that goal. You’ll know when you’re ready to go again. You may kinda hate marathons, but if it’s your dream to BQ and run Boston, then you’ll do it. I have no doubts. I will say, Western States use to be my BQ. I had set that as something I HAD and desperately wanted to do as a runner. I no longer feel the need to run it, so I think it’s also OK to let some of those dreams go if you don’t feel that it’s right for you anymore. Dreams are what keep us feeling alive as runners IMO, so if for some reason in the future you decide not to go for a BQ, you have to pick another dream! That’s just my 360° thoughts on the matter 🙂 You rock.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m going to be honest, the Marathon distance (Road Race) scares me, but oddly enough, an ultra Marathon through trails doesn’t seem so bad. Haha.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh man, I love your honesty.

    All of it is true. Everything has to be perfect. When my husband and I talk about our BQs we ALWAYS include “the stars aligned for us that day”– because that is the darn truth.

    One other thing I always add, is that if we can have “perfect” days, so can you, so can anyone ♡

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The marathon is a vicious beast, but I love it. I usually run one a year sometimes two. Once I ran three in a year and it was too much.
    I still haven’t qualified for Boston and may never get to. It takes a lot of work, talent and a certain amount of luck for sure.
    When the stars align for me, I’m still a middle of the pack marathoner. Now that I’m almost 55, that’s probably as good as it’s going to get.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: