Post Achilles Surgery Week 7 – Hey Jealousy

I’m starting this post at night, which isn’t my usual thing but my wife is having a girl’s night tonight and I’m just kind of sitting here alone so why not.

I’ve been extremely optimistic for these first several weeks since my injury. That’s mainly because optimism seems to be embedded in my DNA, but also because I’m a firm believer that an optimistic healer is a fast healer.

With January came many runners setting many goals. So many of you are committing to races and getting ready. So many of you are looking great while doing it. You’re crushing your training runs, you’re setting PRs. You’re excited for what you’re about to take on and you’re hopeful that you’ll succeed. I’m happy for all of you and enjoy seeing every bit of it, but also I don’t, and I’m not.

This no running thing is taking its toll on me. I go to the gym and I see runners on the treadmill and I want to be one of them. My current choices are the armbike or riding the assault bike with one leg. Those aren’t running, that’s for sure.

I really will be fine. There are sure to be ups and downs with this process. I don’t want any of you to stop talking to me about running. I love running and I love runners. Maybe I just need to whine a little.

I’m also thinking about what running will be for me when I finally get back to it. Can I pick up where I left off? Can I still set PRs and chase Boston? Will I have to get used to being a fun runner?

I know this is temporary and I know I’ll be back (at least somewhat). Recovery feels far away and uncertain tonight. Maybe a cup of coffee with my running friends tomorrow morning will be just what I need.

Thanks for listening.

18 Replies to “Post Achilles Surgery Week 7 – Hey Jealousy”

  1. You knew these days would come. You just have to power on and trust that you will make it through. The feelings are normal. The questions are normal. Feel them and ask them. You’ve got this. You have tons of amazing people in your life to help you though. It’s week 7 post surgery. Look where you already are!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think you have very valid thoughts for an injured runner. I’ve been there and experienced that myself. Being jealous of treadmillers. Or, wishing you could spend $40 on a 5K with an ill-fitting shirt and half-ripe banana rather than a doctor’s office copay.

    As far as being a fun runner goes, that’s what I am right now. For one thing, I’ve raced a LOT in the last few years and three half marathons, including the one that got me officially injured. I needed a little break anyway (injury – not the “break” I was expecting). I love the thrill of training and lining up to race and put it all out there, BUT I also love being in post-run pics with friends… easy runs… maybe taking some pictures on the run… going out for coffee or a beer after. Those are the things that we remember and keep us going in this sport.

    I’ve finished races broken (physically) and heartbroken (emotionally), but have never once regretted just getting out and running with friends then going out for a drink. You will love that so much when you do get back, and after awhile, you will KNOW when it is right to start “training and racing”. That itch does come back… ;).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I mean… we have different seasons of life… sometimes that season of life is just running what you can, maybe being with friends and hanging out… sometimes that season is training intensely for an event. This is a lifelong sport and there’s room for both!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Aw…that shirt though 🙂 Feel free to vent away all you want, it is definitely okay to do so. Glad you are staying positive through all of this. I know it is hard and easier said than done. Maybe hanging with non runner friends may also help things not be so RUN RUN RUN focused. I’m continuing to send ya good vibes!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. LOL!! Well, you catch my drift. Just something to not have so much of a hyper focus on the THING that you aren’t able to do so much of right now. Whether that is more family time, fun friend time, shit organizing a book shelf, some other project that you may otherwise overlook when you are training so much. I hear you though and have been where you have been. Totally!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Whining is a crucial component of recovery from any running injury! It’d be kinda weird if you weren’t feeling a little sorry for yourself sometimes. Injuries suck. PT sucks. Cross training when you’d rather be running sucks. And yeah, gaining back all that lost fitness when you start running again sucks. (But you can get it back!) Take the time to wallow in it when you need to and don’t feel bad about it.
    Nice Gin Blossoms reference, by the way! That one’s a staple on my running playlist.

    Liked by 1 person

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